Long Distance Relationship

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

The female singer Brandy in one of her song said “This long distance is killing me.” Is she implying that long distance relationship is not healthy to humans in general or she is not comfortable with it? Well, it only Brandy that can answer that question.

However, what I want to us to discuss is the issue of Long Distance Relationship LDR.

What is LDR?

LDR, short for Long Distance Relationship according to popular perception is a kind of relationship in which the people involved are separated by distance. It can be that they are leaving in separate towns, cities, countries, even continents. The people involved do not enjoy the privilege of close physical contact except through phone, email and other means of communication.

It is a known concept that out of sight is out of mind but another adage goes that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Which way do we go?

85% of people in relationship i.e. intimate relationship tend to dread LDR because of the little or total absence of the physical comfort that is one of the perk of intimate relationship. However, psychologists and marriage counselors always advocate for a brief moment of non – physical contact in order for the couples to sort out their issues

Now here’s the dilemma. Why is it that what humans dread is what is sometimes recommended as a cure to their relationship issues,

What are the challenges of LDR?

Is there any benefit in Long Distance Relationship?

Let us see.

Some individuals I came across actually advocated for LDR. Below is the summary of their reasons;

1.      VALUE: There is a popular adage that goes thus “you don’t know the value of what you have till you lose it.” This is being supported by the adage ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ which invariably leads to taking your partner for granted. Long distance relationship helps the individuals involved to know the worth of each other in the relationship.

2.      OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLORE: In some close relationship i.e. a relationship where the individuals involved have a freer access to each other, at some point one or both of the individual(s) may start developing the feeling that they are ‘caged’ in the relationship. One of the potentials of the human spirit is the ability to seek, to explore and when denied or restricted, it tends to rebel. LDR gives the individuals in the intimate relationship the opportunity to seek, to explore, to grow and to expand.

3.      CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT/PERSONALITY ENHANCEMENT: Individuals that are involved in a long distance relationship always have the opportunity of discovering something about themselves that they couldn’t have discovered if the long distance hasn’t occurred. These discoveries tend to boost their self esteem which gives them a greater appreciation of independence and inter-dependence.

However, those that are averse to LDR only tend to echo one major concern;

1.      THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN: The fear of the unknown is the major concern of those that castigates long distance relationship. The incessant concern of the endless ‘What ifs’; what if (s)he ceases to love/care for me, what if (s)he falls in love with another person, what if (s)he do not return, what if….

CONCLUSION

LDR is a vital ingredient of an intimate relationship as much as the long distance Sun is vital to life on earth. People have varying opinion towards long distance relationship which sometimes distorts the hidden opportunity inherent in it. For mercury is much nearer to the sun than earth but earth is more suited for life than mercury

“If you love him/her, let him/her go. If (s) he comes back to you, then (s) he is yours.” (Chinese Proverb).